Didn't Know
by blacknblu30
Summary: Things get messed up when you think you know things but you really don't. A decade later and Cassandra is home with a past she's trying to overcome and things she wished she didn't feel for a man who didn't feel for her. He fell further apart when she left, thinking she felt differently and now she's back. Can she overcome the obstacles she's face? Will he be the one to help?
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: KURT SUTTER'S AWESOME AND OWNS WHAT I DON'T...

She laid in the bed and thought about the night before, about the masque that good ol' Charming High put on for the reunion. She thought about the man that was standing with her sister's husband and how, even with the mask and spray on his hair, she knew it was him. She didn't talk to him, didn't even know how to start the conversation. Donna was the only one who knew she came back though. She couldn't face the others, the family she left all those years ago. She also knew that the only reason either man was in the Gym of their High School was because Donna had dragged them out for a night of "normal", whatever that was anymore.

She threw her blanket off of her and sat up in the dusty hotel bed, slowly stretching before heading to the shower for the morning. She stopped and looked at her reflection in the mirror. You could still see the bruise on her neck from where he had put his hands, the cut just under her left eye where his ring had gotten her. Waiting for him to pass out so she could make it to this little hotel room was longer and harder than what he did to her before she was able to leave. Calling Donna in the middle of the night wasn't something she thought she'd do, especially with this.

She sighed and turning the light on into the toilet and tub room, she pulled the tank off her head and started the water, letting it warm while she relieved herself. She knew the tears were wanting to leave her eyes. She knew Donna would be there any minute, knew it'd be a miracle if Opie and the rest of the bikers never found her here. She had savings that she was able to keep hidden for about two years while she waiting till she could get back. She had told Donna some, but not all the details. She stepped into the tub and sat at the bottom, letting the water consume her as the tears fell freely now that she could hide them. Her sister had a key and so she knew she needed to get it all out now. Her hands wrapped around the baby she no longer had thanks to the man she escaped from, wishing she at least had a chance to be its mother.

"Sassy, I'm here." she heard with a knock on the bathroom door.

She pulled herself up and washed her hair and body, knowing Donna didn't need to wait longer than necessary. She finished up in the shower and wrapped one towel around her body and the other around her hair before opening the door to see that her sister wasn't alone. Standing in front of her was none other than Piney Winston and it scared her just a bit to see the old man with her sister. She looked at her sister who sat on the bed and looked at her.

"He figured it out. Heard Ope and Jax talking about the girl they didn't recognize even with the mask. He came right to me and told me that he heard me talking to you on the phone. I had to bring him, Sass. You need help, more than me. You need a house, some place better than this."

"You know why I can't be permanent, Donna." She whispered, grabbing a pair of panties and a bra out of her bag. She slipped them on the way she learned all those years ago when Opie would bring Jax to the house and she didn't want him to see her lady parts.

"We can help. That man doesn't know where I live, where you come from...Sassy, please."

She could see the tears threatening to fall from her sister's brown eyes and finally looked at the man while slipping a black tank top over her head.

"Cassandra, we can help you. You're family."

She shook her head, "No, Piney. I'm not a part of the family. I wouldn't want to pu..."

"Bullshit. You are Donna and Opie's family and that makes you mine. Now finish getting dressed and we'll figure it out."

The girls watched as the old man walked back out the door, shutting it behind him. Donna watched as her sister pulled on a pair of jeans and than took a brush to her auburn hair. Cassandra looked more like their mother, auburn hair and dark green eyes, while Donna took after their father. Cassandra pulled her hair into a bun and slipped on her flip flops. "He's taking us to the shop, isn't he?"

Donna nodded, "Gem has Ellie and he made me tell Opie before I left."

She closed her eyes and pulled out her concealer. "Than I need to cover things. I don't need those boys to 'take care' of anything that doesn't need to be."

She turned to the mirror and rubbed the cover up on her neck to hide bruise, the scar on her face would just have to do. She turned and grabbed her purse next to Donna. "Lead the way, sister."

Donna nodded and Cassandra followed her out and to their cars. Cassandra took a deep breath as her car warmed up, knowing that facing the guys at the shop was going to be hard. She put the car in reverse and than followed the biker and her sister to the shop to talk to men that she hadn't seen in a decade, let alone talked to. She pulled into an empty spot where customers usually parked and got out, leaving her bag out of view. She shook her head at the half dressed women that still hung around the place, knowing they probably saw all the rooms in the clubhouse after hours. She walked up to her sister, who was at a table with Opie and another biker. She knew it wasn't Jax, his hair would have given him away.

"Hey, Sass."

She smiled, "Opie, how are you?"

He stood and pulled her to him in a hug, "I'm alright. How've you been?"

She squinted a bit and covered her eyes as she looked up to keep the sun out of the them. "As good as I can be, I guess."

He smiled and nodded to his left, "This is Juice. He just patched in."

"Nice you meet you, Juice."

He smiled, "You also. I should get back to the car."

After they watched him walk off, Opie pulled her to the table with Donna and Piney following them. Cassandra put her hands on the table and looked down, not wanting to face her brother in law.

"Donna said you had a bad relationship." He didn't question and she didn't expect him to.

She looked up at the man next to her. "He doesn't know where I am as I told him my family was dead. He started the abuse a little after three months. I had no money and no help. I couldn't get home and my sister was newly married so I wasn't gonna do that to her. I saved every penny I could and finally got back here. I have been back a week, staying in a hotel and Donna's been bringing me things I need. I wasn't ready to face everyone, Ope."

She whispered the last part, but he had heard her. He nodded and pulled her to him. "Well, you're home now."

"You can stay with me till you find a place, no more dirty hotels."

She looked over at Piney. "I cou..."

"Yes, you can. Let us help you, Cassandra."

Before she could answer, a bike came onto the lot, making them all turn to look. She was frozen to the spot as she watched him park in a new spot than what she remembered. She watched as his helmet came off and followed his hands as he sat the thing on his handlebar before getting off the machine and headed right for them.

"Hey, it's just Jax." Opie whispered next to her as she tried to hide herself.

Cassandra simply nodded. She knew who it was, she knew by the sound of the machine he rode in on. That was the same machine that would take him from her bedroom when they were in high school so that her father didn't know she was sleeping with a biker. It was bed enough for Donna and Opie and so Cassandra convinced Jax to keep it quiet.

"Hey, who's the new girl? Y'know, Ope...Donna's right there. At least wait till she's taken the kid home."

Cassandra couldn't look at him and so kept her eyes on her brother in law's hand that was on the table. She felt Opie shake her a bit and knew she would have to look up into the eyes that left her when he fucked crow right before she took off, ten years ago.

"What?" she heard him ask.

She took a breath in and let it out before looking up at the man standing just behind her sister and Piney. She watched as his eyes adjusted and his head figured out just who Opie was comforting.

"Sass..."

"Hi, Jackson."

She watched his face, always able to read his emotions. She watched the anger show, but he hid it quickly. He never knew why she left and she never told him she saw him take the girl to the back and didn't come out till she was through screaming his name for everyone to hear. They watched as the biker turned and walked over to the office, where his mother was leaning against the doorway and watching the scene. The group with the girl turned and looked at her, asking silently for her to explain. She took a deep breath and let it out. She just shook her head and got up, heading to the vending machine for a soda.

"Cassandra?"

She turned to see an older man smoking next to the machine with a man she didn't quite recognize. "Tigger?"

He nodded and she smiled, letting him pull her in for a hug.

"This is Happy. Transfer from Tacoma." he informed her.

She smiled. "Nice to meet you. Y'all got a ton of newbies while I was gone, Tig."

Tig chuckled. "You've been gone a while, doll face."

"So I have."

* * *

Jax tried to contain his emotions because he knew the girl he walked away from could read him. He fell for her once upon a time ago and when she refused to let her dad know, he knew she didn't feel the same way. Seeing her here, with Opie and Donna, stirred something he hadn't let be stirred in years. He took the repo list from his mother and went to find the prospect to have him go with him to get the cars. He wasn't going to stay while she was here, he'd most likely demand things he already knew anyway. He walked up to Half Sac, who was with Juice and caught the end of a conversation about the girl with Opie.

"Off limits, Juice. She's family." Jax stated, handing the list to Sac. "You drive, let's go."

Half Sac nodded and followed the biker to the tow.

They rode silently for a bit before the prospect finally couldn't take it. "Who's the girl, really? Opie doesn't have a sister."

Jax let out a breath and turned his head to the man driving. "She's Donna's sister. She went traveling right after high school, so Donna told me anyway. Still off limits, Sac."

"Alright." He stated, knowing there was most likely something his VP wasn't addressing.

* * *

Cassandra was sitting at the table with Donna, watching her sister play with her niece. She felt someone sit next to her and looked to see Gemma Teller sitting there. She didn't say anything, just turned back to look at Donna and the baby. Gemma watched the sisters together. Whatever Cassandra went through to get her back in Charming must have been huge. When that girl was last here, Gemma knew she was ass over tits for her son and she knew her son enough to know it was a mutual feeling. She knew what the bikers here were like, she also knew the girl next to here did also. Cassandra was close to both her son and Opie, that was how Donna and Opie got together in the first place. Cassandra felt the eyes of the woman next to her and turned her head. "What?"

Gemma smiled, "What have ya been up to, baby?"

Cassandra smiled, "Traveling mostly. I was ready to come back home. Donna and I finally got to touch base and she told me of Ellie. I wanted to help with her and play with my niece, Gemma."

"That's cool. Figure shit out while you were gone?"

"Excuse me? I didn't leave to 'figure shit out' as you put it. I needed a change."

Gemma got up and looked down at the girl. "You needed to get away from my son."

With that said, the two girls watched the woman walk back into the office. Cassandra put her head on the table, trying to stay calm.

"What did she mean?"

Cassandra looked back up to her sister and sighed. "I may have had feelings for Jax when I left. I knew he wouldn't feel the same for me. It's not why I left though."

"What's not why you left?" She let out a breath and turned around to see Jax and Opie coming to the table and sitting down, pulling out a cigarette each.

"You're mother just thinking I left for reasons I didn't. Don't worry about it." She stated. She sighed and looked back to Donna. "I have to pack up if I'm staying with Piney."

Donna smiled. "I'll come with you. Ellie's getting restless anyway."

Cassandra nodded and watched her sister kiss Opie and then they all went to Donna's car to head to the hotel.

Opie and Jax watched them go and than put out their cigarettes. Jax leaned forward and put his head in his hands, trying to be calm.

Opie studied him for a moment. "Ya alright man?"

Jax sat up. "Yeah. She was there last night, wasn't she?"

Opie nodded. "Yea, Pop and I got it out of Donna this morning. She's been here a week. She's back, Jax, don't make a big deal about it."

"Wasn't planning on it, Ope. Why she come back?"

Opie shook his head. "You have to get her to talk to you to know that. I'm going to help Hap."

Jax let out a breath and took out another cigarette as he watched his friend head over to the bay.

_**Look what popped into my head while listening to music. Return has been pulled as I just wasn't in it anymore. I may re post it later if I ever feel it again. Not sure what this one has in it and I won't update as often as you would like till I get my papers finished. Hope you like this intro. As always, please leave me a note at the bottom to let me know if you like this one or not. :)Brianna**_


	2. Chapter 2

She opened her eyes as the sun hit them, telling her it was morning. She rolled over and stretched before sitting up in the bed she was using at Piney's and smiled. Opie's room was just as she remembered it. She let out a breath and got up to gather her things and head to her morning shower. She could smell bacon as she opened the door and headed down the hall to the bathroom.

_"Breakfast's ready when you get done."_

She heard Piney as she shut the door.

She turned the spray on, letting the water heat up as she undressed. She stepped into the tub and let the water loosen up the muscles on her back. She took the rag and soap, watching her body before doing her hair. She smelled the shampoo and immediately thought of her sister's husband, her best friend. She shook her head and lathered her hair before rinsing it out. Turning the water off, she pulled the towel from is resting place over the shower rail. She ran it through her hair before wrapping it around her body before opening up the door and stepping out onto the bathmat. She dried her body after turning on the straightener.

She pulled on her green thong and snapped the matching bra into place before pulling up a pair of gray pants and then turning to the counter. After about twenty minutes, she finally had her hair finished, pinning the top layer with a couple of bobby pins and putting a red flower over them. She slipped her arms through a red button up and than pulled the buttons through the holes. She looked into the mirror and grabbed her make up, doing her eyes with a light gray and adding black eyeliner before using her curling mascara. She than applied her cherry lip gloss to add just a small amount of color to her lips. She never used blush, but that was mostly because she had a natural tint to her cheek bones anyway. She sighed and opened the door, putting her clothes in the hamper before walking to the kitchen with her flats in her hands.

"Morning, Piney." She stated, grabbing a plate and putting eggs and bacon onto it.

"Morning, Cassandra. What's got you all dolled up and beautiful?"

She blushed as she sat down at the table, putting the fork into her hand. "Well, if I'm going to stay I need a job. I can't freeload on your couch forever, Piney."

"As long as you need, baby girl." he replied, kissing the top of her head. "Come by the shop about lunch. Donna usually brings Ellie 'bout that time."

She nodded, "Alright. Give me five and I'll leave with you so you can lock up." she commented.

He nodded and sat to smoke a cigarette as he waited for his friend.

* * *

Jax had been off all day. He didn't know if was because he didn't sleep or because every time he closed his eyes, he saw auburn hair and hazel eyes looking at him. He ran his hands through his hair as he came out of the clubhouse, not even bothering to see who was in his bed. He put a cigarette into his mouth and lit it as the bikes started rolling in for the day. He saw Opie ride up behind Piney and tried to act as if everything was fine. He'd seen that damned girl only 24 hours ago and he was already letting her rule his attitude.

"Hey, what's up with you this morning?" Opie asked, standing next to his friend and lighting his own.

Jax shook his head and dropped the cigarette, smashing it with his toe. "Dunno man, didn't sleep good, I guess."

"Crow not doing it for ya?"

Jax shook his head and smirked. "Got off as always, my mind didn't wanna sleep. Not sure why."

Opie turned his head to look at his friend. "Cassandra?"

Jax rolled his eyes, "C'mon, Ope. Really? No, it wasn't because of _Cassandra_. I gotta get to the car with Juice today."

Opie watched his friend as he walked off to their other friend and studied him.

"What was that about?"

Opie shook his head and looked at his dad, "Not sure, pop."

* * *

"_You can do this_..." she thought to herself as she walked into the hospital.

There was an opening in the daycare and even with everything that happened in the last month, Cassandra really wanted to be with the kids. She always loved them and she wasn't about to apply for the bar or ask Luann Delaney for a job...she just wasn't that desperate. She walked into the Daycare and watched as the kids played while she waited for the director. She saw a little girl sitting by herself and not wanting to engage in any type of play with the others. She walked over and knelt down to her level. "Hey, sweetie."

The girl looked at her and waved, causing Cassandra to smile. "I'm Sassy. What you're name?"

She watched as the little girl gave the hand signals for Becky and sighed. She was glad she took that sign class at one of her stops and signed some back to the little girl while waiting.

**_"Cassandra Reynolds."_**

Cassandra turned her head and saw a woman looking at her. She turned back to the little girl.

"_I have to talk to that lady. I'll try to come back and play."_

She watched Becky smile and nod. Cassandra smiled and stood back up, making her way over to the woman.

"Hello, Mrs. Martin."

"I have seen plenty. You want to start today? None of the workers here have sign experience and we could really use you to help with Becky. Her brother is deaf also, he's three months."

She smiled, "Really? Just like that?"

The other woman smiled and Cassandra nodded. "I would love that, but can I start tomorrow? I didn't bring a change of clothes and I would like to tell my sister about the job."

Mrs. Martin smiled. "Of course. 8 O'clock."

Cassandra nodded and shook the woman's hand. "Thanks, Mrs. Martin, so much."

"You're welcome. Can I ask why you wanted to work with us? I'm only asking because I remember you growing up with my daughter, Molly."

Cassandra nodded. "I've always loved kids. Also, I really was hoping you'd hire me so I wouldn't have to resort to Cara Cara."

"Thank you for your honesty. See you in the morning."

Cassandra nodded and than turned to see Becky standing behind her. She got back down to the little girls level and smiled, signing "_I have to go now sweetie, but will be here to play with you tomorrow."_

Becky nodded. "_Good, nobody here can sign. See you tomorrow, Sassy."_

Cassandra waved and gave the little girl a hug before walking out to head to her car and than to the shop like Piney had asked. She smiled all the way to the shop and even seeing Jax sitting with Opie and Donna couldn't change it. She knew they had to talk, there was a lot she was keeping from everyone, and more from him. She wanted to talk to Donna or Opie first though. Having back up when confronting the blonde Teller had always worked best. While she knew he would never hit her, no matter what the news or what she did, she did know he'd most likely be very upset. She pulled into the spot next to Gemma's Caddy and got out. She headed over to the table and sat next to Jax, who offered her a smoke. "No thanks, I quit."

Everyone looked at her and Jax moved his pack back in front of him.

"When?"

She looked at her sister and closed her eyes, letting out a breath. "Ten years ago. Trust me, it was hard, but when there are reasons for it you can do anything."

They all looked at her and she looked down. "Please don't ask, Don...not here." she whispered.

She saw her sister nod out of the corner of her eye and the boys simply went back to their conversation about whatever the party was for that night. Donna nudged Jax to switch places with her so she could talk to Cassandra and than pulled her to her side. "Is this about some guy?"

Cassandra shook her head. "Not here, I mean it Donna. There's a lot no one at this table knows, some more than others. I got a job at the daycare in the hospital."

She watched Donna's face light up and a smile appear. "That's great. You nailed the interview than?"

Cassandra knew she had the others attention and she smiled. "Didn't get to the interview. There was a little girl sitting by herself who's deaf. I took a sign class at one of the stops I made because the person who let me room with them was deaf. I got the job based off none of the other workers took the time to learn."

Donna smiled. "Well, I'm happy for you. Do you wanna look for a rental?"

Cassandra nodded. "I was going to ask. I don't need to crash Opie's old bedroom too long. It's weird looking at the bikini models when I wake up."

They all chuckled, glad whatever funk their friend was in seemed to be at an end.

"Sass, Can we talk?"

The girls looked at the guys and Cassandra nodded. "Sure, Ope."

"Alone."

They looked at each other for a bit before she nodded and let him lead her to his room at the clubhouse. She walked in before he did and stared at the wall as he shut the door. She didn't want to look at him, she knew she'd break if she did.

"What happened ten years ago, Sass?"

He saw her shoulders sag and knew she was trying not to break. She was his best friend other than Jax and the day she got her sister to agree to date him was one of his favorites. He walked up to her and took her hand, turning her to him. "Talk to me." he whispered.

"I was sleeping with Jax."

She watched his eyes grow as he took in what she said. They stared at each other for a few moments before he led her to the bed and pushed her to sit as he grabbed his chair. He waited for her to get it out, knowing she really needed it. She took a breath, knowing she needed to get it all out.

"It started after you and Donna. My dad was yelling about you guys like always and you were out with my sister. I got tired of it and called Jax to come get me. I snuck out and hopped on his bike. We went out to one of the rest stops outside of town. He held me as I cried, and you know I don't do that often. When I lifted my head to tell him thank you, we were closer than I thought and I kissed him. One thing led to another and..."

She kept her eyes on her lap, not wanting to see the reaction of her friend. Opie leaned a bit, resting his arms on his knees and tilted his head to get her to look at him. "Just the one time? How did I not know?"

She shook her head. "We did off and on for six months. I was so scared of my dad. He hated me for getting you with Donna already, add both of his girls sleeping with bikers and...I didn't wanna think about it. Jax said it was okay, that we'd keep it low till I was ready. The night I left, I saw him take a croweater back here and could hear her the same as everyone. A few weeks later, I was late. That's why I quit smoking, Ope."

Opie sat back. It was beginning to make sense. All of it. Jax was totally messed up when she left and he was beginning to see why. "What if he thought you were just messing around? Did you ever tell him how you felt about him?"

She looked at him and shook her head. "That night, I was going to tell him I loved him and to hell with my dad."

Opie closed his eyes and let out a breath. "The baby?"

She looked down again for a moment and he opened his eyes to look at her. "Sass, where's the kid?"

She looked back at him and he saw the tears running down her cheek. "I lost it two months later. I was working at a bar, real light stuff because I was pregnant. Some guys got into it and as the bouncer was pushing them outside, I got pushed out of the way and landed right."

Opie pulled her to him and held her as she broke. She let him comfort her till she could cry no more and sat back. "You can't tell him, Ope. I will when I'm ready, but please promise me. Donna doesn't even know."

He nodded and sighed. "You ready to go back out?"

She nodded, "Yeah, if he asked, make something up."

Opie nodded and followed the girl back out.

* * *

Cassandra and Donna had spent all afternoon looking for a rental and finally found one. It was close to Donna and Opie's and Cassandra immediately liked it. It was basic but the owner told her she could change anything she wanted. She was fine with basic, her ex was extravagant and she needed a little simple and basic for now. She had told Donna about what her and Ope had talked about and her sister held her, telling her it was fine and Jax was an ass, always had been. She had an air mattress and some dishes that Donna let her use till she could get some with her next check. She had paid the owner for two months that way she could slowly furnish the house without having to stress about rent to go with it. She rolled over and heard the faint sound of a bike, knowing Opie was probably home from the party. She really needed her sleep and was hoping the events of the day would wash away so she could rest. She finally sighed and said fuck it, getting up and finding her ipad. It was a gift from Mr. Ex and she took it with her to keep her sane. She found a movie and put her ear buds in. She let Johnny Depp, who was hotness on a different level, send her into dream land.

_**Alright everyone, another update. Reminder: I won't update as often probably but will try if the chapter pops into my head before I lose it. Please continue to leave reviews as I love hearing what you think of the chapters. Special thanks to kceeluv, Legolas' Girl31, mcbailey, awprncss4386, Cappiesgirl23, and the guest for the reviews. Until next time :)Brianna**_


	3. Chapter 3

She got up from the air mattress, rubbing her back on the way to the bathroom. Today was her first paycheck and her boss gave her the day off so she could get some furniture at the Goodwill. It wasn't perfect, but she could most likely get a bed and maybe a couch. Gemma had helped her with some of the necessitates like towels, dishes, and toiletries to which Cassandra thanked her for profusely. Opie was taking her to the store for her furniture in his truck so that she'd have some help moving everything into their spots in the house. She turned the water on and undressed as she waited for the water to warm.

She shook her head as she stepped in and closed her eyes under the water. Every time her eyes would close, blonde hair and blue eyes would be looking at her. She had avoided him like the plague ever since spilling their past to her sister and brother in law. He had tried to talk, but she would run to her car and leave as soon as she saw him. She didn't want to be alone with him, she wasn't quite sure how that would go. Donna told her to get to know him again and he may surprise her, Opie told her he was messed up when she left and may have had feelings. The second she thought was highly unlikely; if he had feelings for her he wouldn't have taken the croweater to bed while she was in his vicinity. She heard a knock on the door as she wrapped a towel around her and turned the water off. She walked down the hall to the door and opened it, thinking it was Opie. "Y'know you co..."

She froze at seeing the man on her doorstep. "You're not Opie."

He blinked and shook his head before answering. "Naw, Clay needed him for something and he asked me to help you today."

Cassandra closed her eyes and sighed before moving aside and letting him in. "Stand anywhere, I'll be right back."

She didn't wait for him to answer, or motion that he heard, before going back to her room.

She shut the door and leaned against it. She let out a breath and sighed. _"I'm gonna kill my brother in law..."_ she thought as she pushed herself off the door and went to her closet. She pulled on a pair of cutoffs and slipped an old Aerosmith shirt from a concert they all went to in high school. She grabbed some socks and her shoes. She opened the door and went to the bathroom to pull her hair back into a ponytail. She sat on the toilet and put on her socks and converse before walking back down to the biker in her house, not giving a crap about make up. "Ready?" she asked.

He turned and looked at her before smiling. "Yeah. You still have my old shirt."

She rolled her eyes. "It's comfortable. Be glad Joe didn't know it belonged to someone who had the privilege to see me naked. He already had a temper."

She watched his face as her eyes closed. She hadn't meant to say all that and knew he may ask. She felt his hand on her neck, forcing her head to the side and she silently cursed herself, she forgot the concealer.

"He do this?" she heard him whisper.

When she didn't answer, he moved his hands to where they were cupping her face. They were quiet till she finally opened her eyes to find his staring at her, eyebrow raised in question. She simply nodded her head and he pulled her to him in a hug. She wrapped her arms around him and let him comfort her. He brought out things in her no other man ever had and she really didn't want to think of that now. He pulled back and held her face once more. "Is that all he did?"

"Jax, don't." she whispered, closing her eyes.

"Please talk to me, we used to be able to tell each other things no one else knew, Sass."

She felt herself break and nodded. She took his hands and held them in hers. "If I'm going to talk, I'm coming clean about everything. Jax, I mean it. You may hate me for it, or you may not, I don't even know. Ope and Donna know about us for starters. I didn't tell them till I got back."

He nodded and kept his voice silent. She led him back to her room and to the air mattress, not wanting to sit on the hard floor. She pulled him next to her after they toed their shoes off. He waited for her to start and she looked away from him, not wanting to read his emotions as she started.

"I saw you that night, with that croweater. I heard her from the bar and that's why I skipped town."

She paused and he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I thought we were just messing around, Sass. You didn't wanna tell your dad and so I thought it was just sex. I didn't know you were there."

She kept the tears at bay and nodded, letting him know she heard him. "I came to surprise you since it was a party and Donna and Ope were there anyway. I wanted to talk to you, tell you I didn't care what he thought anymore. I didn't think you had feelings for me when I heard her. Who could sleep with someone else if they had feelings for someone? It didn't make sense to me."

She couldn't look at him and he understood that. He took her hand in his and rubbed his thumb lightly over the back of it. "I was angry. I saw Opie and Donna and how happy they were, even with your dick of a father. I thought you didn't want that and that's why you didn't want him to know. I got that you hated the yelling and the blame placing he did, it was all on you and not really your fault. I got it into my head that you just wanted to be Jax Teller's first lay, you were like all the others."

She turned when he finished and he saw the anger in her face as the tears fell. "You really thought I was just out to get you to pop my cherry, really?"

He kept his eyes on her. "I didn't know what to think. Opie knew something was bothering me, Tig convinced me to take that damned girl to my room. I regretted it as soon as I realized what I did. I went to your house to look for you and found the note on the door. I was the one who gave it to Donna."

She closed her eyes. "Two weeks after I left, maybe three, I was late. I went to the doctor and they confirmed that I was pregnant. That's why I quit smoking, drinking, pot, all of it."

Jax furrowed his brow as he took that in and processed it. She was pregnant and alone. "Why not come back? Why not tell me?"

She opened her eyes. "I didn't know how. I thought you didn't feel the same way. I was going to keep it, though. We made something together, the most precious something that can ever be made. I told the manager of the bar I was working at as a server and she changed me to bar help. I helped with drinks and orders for the tenders during the busy hours and got good tips. When I was two months pregnant, Jim, one of the bouncers, was trying to get some guys out of the bar for fighting and they knocked me down. I lost the baby."

She turned her head, not wanting to see his reaction. She felt him pull her to him and hold her, running his fingers through her hair. She didn't know how long they were there, but when she finally pulled away they were laying down. "We should go. I really want a bed and a couch."

Jax nodded and watched as she got up. She turned and looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"And what about Joe?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes. "I can tell you that in the car. The other stuff, I didn't want you driving."

He got up and slipped his shoes back on. "And you think whatever the guy did to you to get a bruise the shape of his hand on your neck is ok to be known in a car?"

She rolled her eyes and just went to the front door, grabbing her bag on the way.

Jax shook his head after watching her ass to get the thoughts out of his head and walked after her. She climbed into the passenger side of Jax's truck as he opened the door to the driver's side. They buckled their belts and Jax started the vehicle. They drove in silence to the Goodwill, not because it was awkward, but because one didn't know how to start and the other didn't know how to ask. Jax pulled up and parked in the lot. They got out and he followed her into the store.

He let her walk around while he found a chair and sat down. While she was looking, he thought about what she revealed at the house. It wasn't the fact that she kept a baby from him, or that she lost it, what bothered him the most was how he blew it. She had come to the clubhouse to tell him she wanted to be with him and he was busy fucking crow. He ran his hands through his hair, his elbows resting on his knees. He really hated himself at the moment and couldn't help but think that maybe they would've been like Opie and Donna...married and a kid.

He sat back and laid his head on the back of the chair, closing his eyes. After a moment of two, he opened them to see her walking around and looking at some of the beds. He smiled as he watched her checking on one of them with a worker. She was just as beautiful as she was then, maybe more so. He really hoped Joe's bruise was a first and last, but somehow he doubted that was the case. He watched as she shook hands with the clerk, who took the bed over to the rack so they could get it to the truck later.

"This ones comfy." Cassandra stated, sitting on a couch next to Jax.

He looked over and smiled. "This chair is too, babe."

She blushed a bit and it caused a smile on the man's face in front of her. She nodded and opened her bag to see what cash she had.

"Got enough?"

She looked up and smiled. "They gave me a deal on a TV also. You may have to work on it a bit and it's an old one, but I have a TV. The bed wasn't as much as I planned for, so I can get a stand for the TV and maybe a chair. I really like this couch, so I'm getting it."

Jax nodded and smiled. "I'll get the chair, housewarming gift."

She shook her head, "Jax, I cou..."

"Yes, you can. I wanna get you something." He stated, throwing his best "puppy" eyes at her.

She rolled her eyes and he smiled, knowing he won.

She waved the clerk over and let him know that they were getting the stand and chair along with the couch. The girl nodded and went to ring everything up and to get a guy to help Jax with loading everything while Cassandra paid. Jax and Cassandra stood and she watched as Jax followed the worker guy out to help him load the furniture. She turned and walked to the counter, taking out her wallet. She watched as the girl rang up all the tags, the total coming to $350 total. She gave the cash to the girl and thanked the guy on her way out. She climbed into her seat of Jax's truck and took his hand. He looked at her and smiled as they pulled out of the lot and headed back to her house. "About Joe?"

She nodded and sighed. "I started with Joe about two years ago. He's a lawyer in Oakland. As soon as I found out what he did, I gave him a fake last name and told him my family was dead. I didn't want him to find Donna and Opie. He convinced me to live with him when he found out I was getting evicted after three months. I did, but only because I didn't have money. I got a new job as a bar tender about a week later and put half my tips in an account under my real name. I guess living with you and Opie, I didn't trust him all the way, or already knew something was off, I'm not sure. That night, he came home late after drinking with his friends. He woke me up and when I told him I wasn't in the mood, he didn't press it and said it was fine, but left a mark on my shoulder that I found when I got up. Every time he drank, he got worse. I didn't have enough to leave. The beatings were bad, but he never raped me. I knew I had to be willing and sometimes the urge is just too strong, so I'd give in. I had saved for two years so I could get home and finally had a nice sum of cash to get me back and a rental. The night I left is when I got this bruise. I also have a faint scar on my left cheek under my eye. I lost our baby that night as well. Donna doesn't know all of that, she thinks he only got to me the night I left."

Jax gripped the wheel and tried to contain his anger. He kept his eyes on the road and she kept hers on him. She knew he was going to be upset, but he wasn't going to put holes in walls when they got back and that's what she cared about at the moment. They backed up into her drive and saw Opie and Donna walking down the street. "They don't know, Jax. Please don't tell them." She whispered as she opened the door.

He simply nodded and got out, forcing a smile on his face.

Opie knew his friend enough to know that smile was fake, but wouldn't question him on it around the girls. Donna was holding Ellie and followed her sister into the house while the boys went to the back to start unloading. Cassandra went right to the kitchen and started on some dinner so that everyone could eat when the guys were finished and turned to see Donna putting Ellie to the floor and smile.

"You got more than you hoped.."

Cassandra smiled. "Yep, gotta deal too. Jax got me the chair, but I think that was more for him. He was sitting in it when I sat on the couch I bought."

Donna smiled. "He looked kinda mad when we walked up."

Cassandra could hear the underlining question and sighed. "We got some things out. I just hope he wont hate me tomorrow."

"I couldn't hate you for that, Sass. Don't worry about it."

The girls turned to see the guys coming in with the couch and sitting it in the spot they had agreed on the day before. She smiled as she watched the men walk about outside. Donna watched her sister for a few moments and than sighed. "Sassy, ya still got it."

Cassandra looked back to her sister, heading back to check the chicken. "Dunno what you're talking 'bout, Don."

"You still got it for Jax Teller."

Cassandra rolled her eyes and sighed, "I do not. We just reach an understanding is all. That was a long time ago."

"Huh-uh, keep telling yourself that. My advice, figure it out soon because the croweaters love him."

Cassandra looked at her sister before walking out to watch the men, not wanting to have anymore of the conversation her sister was currently trying to have.

* * *

The rest of the afternoon was uneventful. The guys had to go to church and Donna had to feed the kids. Cassandra decided on a bath after everyone finally left her house and sighed as the water loosened her muscles. She thought back to everything she told to Jax today and what he had said to defend his actions all that time ago. It made sense, if just a bit. She didn't wanna tell her dad and so he thought the feelings weren't there. She didn't know what to make of it.

He didn't really say anything about the fact she was pregnant, but she didn't expect him too. It was a long time ago and he didn't know till today so he never grew attached to the idea. She closed her eyes and his face appeared as always. She let her mind drift just a small amount before shaking her head and getting out of the tub. She walked to her room and climbed into bed, not bothering in sleep clothes. She pulled her new sheet over her and slowly drifted off to sleep, dreams of the biker she spent the day with filling her dreams as he did every night for the last two weeks.

_**And another update. As I read what I had so far to remember what I wrote, I realized I gave her different eyes. I meant for them to be hazel and was talking to my daughter when I wrote her eye color in the first chapter. Sorry if that confused anyone while reading. As always, please leave me a small note about what you thought and until next time. :)Brianna**_


	4. Chapter 4

She woke up to the sound of her alarm and threw the blanket off her. She stretched her arms over her head and arched her back to get her body to wake up before sitting up. She swung her legs over and sat up, arching her back once more to wake up fully. She grabbed a towel out of the hall closet and than turned on the shower, stripping out of the old reaper shirt that no one knew she still slept in every night. Joe had asked her once where she got it and she told him it was her dad's. He never asked again, and for that she was thankful. How could you tell the man you were living with that it belonged to your heart that you left behind you when you left?

She stepped into the tub, letting the water finish waking up her tired muscles. She grabbed her blue loofah and the candy apple gel she had always used, lathering up her body. After rinsing, she poured some of the apple shampoo onto her hands and ran it through her hair. After getting the soap out of her hair, she turned the spray off and wrapped the purple towel around her before stepping out. She ran a brush through her hair before turning on the blow dryer. She put the attachment onto the blower, so that her hair would have some curl to it. It was a trick she and Donna had learned long ago as the attachment was suppose to be just for curly hair, but it worked so they kept it. She sat the dryer down when her hair was dry and then dropped the towel.

She walked back into her room and grabbed her orange panty/bra set for the day. After slipping them on, she walked to the closet and found a black cami and one of her green plaid button ups to slip over it. After getting the cami into place, she pulled down some denim capris and slipped into them, laying the over shirt on the bed while she went to finish in the bathroom. She grabbed the hair tie and pulled her hair back into a ponytail, knowing the kids would pull on it anyway at work. She than put on just a tad bit of neutral eye shadow before adding some liner and curling mascara. She than applied a clear lip gloss and than went to find her over shirt and green flats for the day.

After she was finished getting dressed, she walked to her kitchen to grab a piece of toast since she was running behind for work. She put some coffee into a travel mug while the toast heated up, grabbing the bread when it popped. She walked to the entryway to pick up her bag and keys, opening the front door. She stopped when she noticed a man leaning against her house, on the porch, with his knees bent and his arms around them, his head on his knees. She quietly knelt down and touched her fingers to his head, making him look at her. She noticed the redness in his eyes, but wasn't going to call him on it. He never liked crying in front of anyone, and only did it with her.

"Jackson..." she whispered, making sure he could hear her.

He just looked at her and she could feel herself trying not to tear up at the sight of him. He moved a bit and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his lap. She let him and put her arms around him, comforting him. "I'm so fucking sorry, Sass." he whispered in her ear as he was trying to calm down.

She blinked, trying to will her eyes not to let the tears fall. He pulled back and looked at her, smiling just a small smile. She looked at him and returned the smile. "I'll come by the shop after my shift. I'm running late, Jax. And you have nothing to be sorry for." she whispered.

He nodded and than turned his head when he noticed her looking past him. He saw Opie coming out of the house down the street and turned back to her, nodding. They got up and than he walked her to her car. He opened the door for her and she got in. They kept their eyes on the other as Jax shut her door, only then did she notice his bike wasn't at her house, or his truck for that matter. She watched as he started the walk back to his house around the corner, stopping to talk to Opie. She shook her head and put the key into the ignition, starting her car and heading to the daycare.

* * *

Jax watched her go from Opie's house and than turned back to his friend. "Tell Clay I'm running late. I went for my run this morning and didn't realize I was over here till she walked out of her door."

Opie nodded and than watched as his friend, brother, ran back toward his house.

Jax opened his door and went to his bathroom to wash the run off him. He turned the water on and let it heat up as he went to grab a towel from the linen closet on the other side of the door. He sat the towel on the toilet lid and then climbed into the stall, letting the water loosen his aches. He had a lot on his mind where the red head he just left was concerned and didn't know what to think on it. He really didn't know why or how he actually got to her house this morning, but had been thinking about what she told him all night. He figured that had something to do with it. He did his routine and got out quickly before Clay sent his mom to find him.

He wrapped his towel around him and went to his room to grab a pair of white boxers and a pair of jeans for the day. He pulled them on and than opened his drawer to take out a pair of socks, slipping them on before getting a shirt. He pulled on a reaper shirt for the day and than pulled his arms through his cut and clipped the Kabar into place. He put his wallet and smokes where they went before grabbing his prepay and putting it into his front pocket. He slipped into his white sneakers and than walked down to the front door. He locked the door and mounted his bike, backing up and heading to the shop for work. As he pulled up, he noticed Gemma talking with some girl at a car. He took his helmet off and then walked over to them as his mother motioned him over. "What's up?" he asked, getting to the women.

"She needs y'all to look under the hood. It's been overheating." Gemma stated, giving him the keys.

Jax nodded, "Alright. May take a bit, the bays are full, darlin'."

Gemma rolled her eyes as the girl blushed and then raised an eyebrow at her son. Jax rolled his eyes at his mom and made his way over to the board, sitting the keys in line for someone to look at. He the walked over to the table where Tig was sitting with Happy and sat, taking out a smoke.

"What kept you, Jax?" Happy asked.

"Late start this morning. Clay pissed?" He stated, taking a drag.

"Naw, just curious as to why you were at Opie's." Tig stated.

Jax threw his finished cigarette into the can and then walked in to find his step-father.

* * *

It had been a long morning for Cassandra, who couldn't get the image of a broken Jax out of her head. She was helping to interpret reading to Becky, which was not as difficult as she thought. The young girl was coming along nicely and Cassandra was glad she could help. She knew the others were getting upset with the girl and her father had to home school her, trying to help with his hectic schedule. Cassandra came up with the system of spelling out the word for Becky and then having her spell it back, as she mouthed the word with her mouth. The teacher didn't know if it'd work or not, but it did. The little girl could now read "The Cat in the Hat" by herself, spelling and mouthing the words to Cassandra. Today, they were also working on some writing. Cassandra would point to a picture and Becky would have to write in on the paper before spelling it with her hands. Becky looked up at a light as it went off on Cassandra's phone. Cassandra had done this alarm so that Becky would know when to take breaks, and this one happened to be lunch.

_"Lunch, Sassy?" _ the little girl signed and the woman nodded and smiled.

Cassandra stood and grabbed the little girl's hand to lead her to the lunch room with the other kids. When she looked up, she saw Donna watching and smiling, Ellie in the stroller. The red head walked over to her after getting Becky settled. "Hey, what's up?"

Donna smiled. "Thought we'd come eat with you. I'm still on leave from the school. Is that Becky?"

Cassandra smiled and bent to pick up her niece out of the stroller. "Yeah, you can leave the stroller there."

Donna nodded and followed her sister to sit with the others.

_"Sassy?"_ Becky signed, using the sign that she gave the other woman for her name.

The woman smiled. _"This is my sister, Donna, and my niece, Ellie. They wanted to come eat with us today." _

Becky smiled and waved, taking a french fry and dipping it in the ketchup. They all ate in peace, as the children were all famished. Cassandra knew her sister came for a reason and considering Opie saw Jax this morning, she thought she knew why. After lunch, Becky got play time with the other kids while the younger ones took naps and Cassandra got a break. She walked with Donna out to her car and waited for her to put Ellie into the car. "Why'd you really come, Don?"

"Ope said Jax was at your house this morning." She stated, turning and keeping the door open for her daughter so it'd stay cool.

Cassandra let out a breath. "I didn't know he was there. I opened my door to come here and he was sitting on my porch. I don't even think he knew he was there till I touched him."

Donna nodded. "Just be careful. A lot has changed, he still likes taking girls to bed at the clubhouse, Sassy."

"I'm not planning on being one of them, Don. That was a long ass time ago. I have to get back in. I told him I'd come by after work to the shop."

Donna nodded, "Alright, I'm gonna be there about four, Gemma's doing some club dinner there tonight."

Cassandra smiled and hugged her sister before walking back into the hospital.

Donna watched her go and looked up. _"Oh help both of them..." _she whispered to who ever was there to listen.

* * *

Jax had gotten Juice and Tig to help with the car his mom gave him the keys too this morning, getting the hood up in the front bay. He whistled as they took in the damage. There were at least two hoses that needed to be replaced and some of the wires. He just shook his head as Juice made to get on the roller to make sure the damage under the car wasn't better.

"I'm sure it leaks too, Jax."

Jax looked up at Tig. "Most likely. Who could let the car get this bad? It could've blew up with her in it, Tig."

Tig chuckled. "Girls who wanna see the big ass bikers fix it, Jax. Y'know that."

Jax chuckled and then leaned back under the hood, handing hoses and wires to Tig to sit on the table as he got them loose. Juice came out from under the car as Jax stood up so they could take a break before figuring out if they had the things to fix the car or if they had to order. The bikers turned to see Donna and Cassandra playing with Ellie at the picnic table, two of them walking over there while the third went to Gemma about parts. Cassandra smiled as Tig and Juice sat at the table with her and Donna, watching Jax go to the office. They all talked about small things, Cassandra holding Ellie so that Donna could smoke with the guys. She got up and walked around with the little baby to keep the smoke from her and smiled. She loved babies, always had, and tried not to think of the two she would've had by now. "Yours?"

She looked up to see a blonde coming up to her and she shook her head. "My niece."

The girl got up to her and looked. "She's beautiful. What's her name?"

"Ellie, and thanks. Your car getting worked on?"

The woman nodded, "Yes, my mom died and it had been sitting forever so I drove it hear to get it fixed. I'm sure they think I don't keep up with it."

Cassandra nodded. "They'll think you just wanted to watch the bikers fix it."

"I didn't even think of that. I'm Sara."

"Cassandra, nice to meet you."

"Lady, it's gonna take a few days. We have to order the hoses since we don't have the right size."

The girls looked over to see Jax walking over from the office. Cassandra smiled at him and he returned it as he met up with them.

The girl, Sara, smiled. "Figured. It's been sitting for a while. I need a car and my mom couldn't fix it. Is it gonna cost?"

Jax smiled. "My mom is checking on the prices at the moment, trying to get you a deal since most of the hoses are shot. We have to wait till we get the leak fixed and the oil changed to put them in. When we get the estimate, we'll let you know. Do you need a ride home, sugar?"

The girl smiled, "If it wouldn't be too much trouble?"

Jax smiled, "Not at all, I'll go get Happy to give you a lift."

She nodded and the girls watched the biker walk over to find Happy. Sara turned back to Cassandra. "He your guy?"

Cassandra shook her head, "Nope. I just got back a few days ago. Been traveling a bit, why?"

Sara smiled at the girl next to her. "I just figured he was asking for the ride himself. Was kinda surprised he suggested someone else."

Cassandra just nodded and kept her mouth shut, thinking the same thing. Ellie started to get restless and so Cassandra said bye to the girl and went to find her sister. The red head walked into the clubhouse to see the prospects and croweaters busy getting it ready for the dinner thing. She looked around and found Piney at a table with Bobby, but no Donna or Opie. "Here, old man. She's tired of Auntie Sassy."

Piney turned and took his granddaughter into his arms. "They are in the back. I suggest you stay here, darlin'."

Cassandra nodded, "Figured since I couldn't find them."

She sat and listened to the men talk about nothing really, just chattering. She really missed this, the atmosphere the clubhouse brought. It was happy, light, escape...something Cassandra needed for a long time. She felt Jax enter and take the seat next to her and turned to smile at him. "That girl asked if you belonged to me since you got Happy to take her home."

Jax just smiled and Cassandra saw a twinkle in his eye. "Ma told me to stay and help with something so I couldn't go."

She leaned closer to keep others from listening. "You better then this morning?"

Jax nodded, "Yea, a bit. Don't worry about it Sass. I'll be fine."

She nodded and watched as he got up and walked back to the back rooms, most likely to wash the car smell off him before the thing. She got up and went to the bar to take a beer from one of the prospects and sat at a stool. Jackson Teller was just as confusing as he was ten years ago. She knew he wasn't alright this morning, he was crying. She knew Jax Teller and crying just didn't go well together; she couldn't even remember him crying when JT died and that was his dad. She drank the beer, trying not to noticed the half naked girls running around for Gemma, all wanting a spot next to the any one of the bikers here. She felt someone sat next to her and turned to see Tig sitting next to her, taking a beer.

"Ya alright, doll?"

She smiled, "Yea, long day."

Tig leaned in and made her look at him. "Who hurt you enough to have a faint outline of his hand on your neck, Sassy?"

She blinking and put her hand around her neck. She thought it had faded enough to not have to hide it anymore, but apparently Joe had gotten her harder than she thought. Tig stared at her, daring her to lie to him. She blinked and let out a breath. "My ex, don't worry about it. It's over and he thinks my family's all dead so he wont know where I'm at."

"That the first time he get you?"

She didn't have to answer because he saw the answer in her face. She saw the anger in his eyes and knew he knew. She gulped and kept her eyes on him. "Donna thinks it's just the one time, may be Opie too. Jax knows, though. Tig don't tell anyone, please."

Tig kept his stare on her, and she him. Neither talking as she waited for his answer. She really didn't need the club to fight this battle, not with a lawyer. They'd get locked up and she couldn't deal with that. She let out the breath she didn't know she was holding when he pulled back and nodded. She watched as he walked over and sat with Clay and Bobby. She turned back to see a half dressed, nappy haired girl looking at her. She raised an eye brow, recognizing this one. She was the one Jax took to bed that night. "Can I help you?"

"What are you doing here?" the girl asked with disdain in her voice.

"Visiting the family, skank. What are you still doing here?"

The girl narrowed her eyes at the red head and leaned in. "It's because of you that I haven't gotten a crow yet, bitch. You need to leave."

Cassandra looked at the woman, trying to process what was said. Jax didn't brand her with his crow. She didn't actually think he would, but since the girl was still here, that question did pop up. Cassandra stepped off the stool and stood up in the girls face. "Not my problem he hasn't marked you. I don't have his crow either. I remember you, you ruined a lot that night. If he didn't give you a crow, it's because he doesn't think you're worthy enough to carry him with you. You aren't worthy to have it, to be his old lady. Get out of my face."

The women stood face to face, knowing they had an audience watching. Cassandra for one, didn't care. She had been itching to punch this girl since she lost her and Jax's baby. She was just waiting for the girl to strike first. If there was one thing Opie and Jax taught her, it was to not throw the first one, but to sure as hell get the last one in. Jax was watching the scene, not knowing what the girls were saying, but had a feeling he knew. He could tell by Cassandra's face that she recognized who the bitch was. He stood at the entrance to the back, waiting to see if he had to defuse the situation.

The room, watching the girls, breathed a sigh of relief when the croweater backed away from the red head and went outside. At least she was smart enough not to hit Cassandra was on most of the minds of the bikers in the room. Cassandra, they knew, could put you down with one punch. Something Opie and Jax were proud of her for. Cassandra blinked and looked at everyone. When she saw blue eyes looking at her with the same expression as this morning, she lost it. She blinked and walked as fast as she could outside before everyone saw the tears. She wasn't going to let them see her cry, not about Jax. Jax made to go after her when he felt a slap on his face. He turned, every intention of hitting the person, till he saw it was Donna.

"You fix her, Jackson. I mean it. You. fix. her." Donna seethed before walking out to make sure her sister was alright.

Jax pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled. _"Fix her" _how the hell was he suppose to do that? He had no fucking clue how to fix the girl outside. He didn't know what all Donna knew about the situation, about the baby, or about Joe. She was right though, he needed to help. It was his fault he took that whore to bed that night. His fault she left without looking back. His fault she lost their baby. He turned and just walked back down to his room, leaving everyone to wonder what the fuck just happened between Opie's old lady and his best friend.

_**And and update. I may do another today. Thanksgiving break rocks. I don't have any papers due till next week and they are pretty much done :) Hope all you faithful readers are liking this one and please continue to leave the reviews. I really enjoy reading them. Thank you to kceeluv, Legolas' Girl31, mcbailey, awprncss4386, Cappiesgirl23, and the guest, HermioneandMarcus, yotoots for all the reviews you have sent already. Till next time :)Brianna**_


	5. Chapter 5

By the time the biker had gotten outside, the girl he was looking for had left...that was two weeks ago. Jax blinked and tried to keep his focus on fixing this girl's car and not on Cassandra. He had tried to call her a ton of times, going straight to voice mail. Donna refused to give him any information on the red head and Opie was sworn to secrecy from his wife on what was going on. He didn't dare go to the hospital because it was her work and he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable where she had to be every morning. He finished tightening the last hose onto Sara's car and stood up, stretching his back as he did. That blonde had taken to coming by every afternoon to see the progress on her car.

The excuse that she was going crazy in her house, going through her mother's things. Jax could relate a bit from helping his mom when JT and Thomas had passed. He talked to the girl some, and kinda figured out, ok no kinda to it, that girl was coming around because Cassandra told her Jax wasn't hers and so the blonde wanted a shot. All women did, but Jax just wasn't attracted to her that way. All he saw when he closed his eyes was Sass anyway. Not that he quit his nightly activities, he just wasn't as into as he used to be. The girls had noticed this and some of the ones that had been around knew why, Jax was hung up on Opie's sister in law.

The guys saw a change in their new VP as well. It was worse than when she left before. Before he just buried himself in pussy, now he just stares. He has only taken a girl to his room if he was drunk enough to let them lead the way. Jax heard a car and turned, hoping to see Cassandra as he made his way to the table for a smoke, throwing the keys to Happy so they could move the car out of the bay. He sat and shook his head as Sara got out of the ride she had gotten to come pick up her car and headed to him. Opie was sitting at the table and made to move when Jax put a hand on his wrist. Opie cocked and eyebrow in silent question and Jax just stared at him. Opie knew, as they all did, why that girl was here every day. He also knew the only reason Jax wasn't feeling that girl is because of Donna's sister. Opie nodded his head at his friend and settled back onto the table. Jax let out a breath and put out his cigarette as the blonde stopped and smiled.

"My car's finished I see."

He nodded, "Just finished, darlin'. My mom's got the keys."

Opie watched as Jax got up and headed into the clubhouse, leaving the girl with him. He watched as she followed him with her eyes and than turned back to look at him. Opie dropped his smoke and stood up in front of the girl. "He doesn't want it with you, sugar. Leave him be."

Sara watched as the biker followed his friend into the clubhouse. She turned when she noticed a car pull in and the Cassandra girl that hadn't been here for as long as her car was got out with who she met to be Donna. She watched as they walked up to the table, Donna sitting with her baby.

"Hey Sara." Cassandra stated, leaning against the table.

"Hey, you just missed Opie and Jax. They went into the clubhouse."

The girls nodded and Donna took her daughter so she could find her father, leaving her sister with the other girl. Donna walked in to see Jax sitting at the bar and as soon as he noticed her, he jumped up and headed straight for her. "If you hurry, you can catch her, she dropped me off since my car's getting worked on."

Jax nodded and head out, heading to the red head.

Cassandra heard the door open and tried to walk as fast as she could to her car. Jax had caught up to her and grabbed her wrist before she could get the door open. She stood with her back to him, not wanting to look at the biker behind her. Jax came closer to her, "Tell me why you're hiding from me, please Sass."

She closed her eyes and tried to will the tears from falling. Donna had told her what a wreck he was since she last saw him and how she slapped him the last time she was here. Donna apologized, of course, but Cassandra wished her sister didn't hit him. There was so much hurt, that she knew, she just didn't know how to fix it. Jax knew she was trying not to cry and watched as a hand came up to wipe a tear before it fell. He turned her around and cupped her face in his hands, leaning her against the car.

"Sass..."

She shook her head, "I can't look at you right now, Jax."

"Why?"

She heard the hurt in his voice and it broke her some more. He picked her up as her knees gave out and went into the office, seeing that his mom wasn't in there. He kicked the door shut and sat with her on the couch in his lap. He held her as her body shook and ran his fingers through her hair after taking the tie out of it. Her hands grabbed his cut and she pushed herself as close as she could to him, causing him to wrap her tighter in his arms.

"I'm sorry."

He heard her mumble and sighed, laying his head on hers. "For what?" he whispered.

She didn't pull back, but laid her ear against his chest, her hands still holding onto the leather he was wearing. "Making you sound so broken, Jax."

He kissed her head and sighed. "Darlin' you didn't make me sound this way. I did, ten years ago."

She pulled back and looked into his eyes and saw the redness in his, knowing he was crying too. He stayed still as she touched his cheek to wipe the tear that fell from his left eyes, raising his hand to do the same. They just sat like that, staring at each other. She slowly laid her head back on his check and he wrapped her back in his arms, running his fingers through her hair.

"Oh, sorry."

They looked up to see Gemma opening the door to the office and Cassandra got off of Jax, sitting next to him. "It's ok, Gemma."

Gemma smiled and sat some papers on the desk. "Didn't know you were still in here. Donna and Opie went home in my car, I told them I'd have Clay drop me off later."

"Oh shit, I'm sorry. I forgot I brought her." the red head stated, getting off the couch.

"It's ok, baby. You two alright?"

Cassandra just smiled and went out to head to Donna's to apologize. Gemma watched her son as he watched the girl go. "Jax..."

She waited for him and he just kept his eyes on the open door. She walked over and sat next to him, only then did he notice her. "Y'alright, baby?"

He just shook his head, "I don't even know anymore, Ma."

She took him in her arms and hugged him. "It'll work out if it's meant to, Jackson."

He pulled back, "Thanks, Mom. I should get home."

She nodded and watched as he left the office.

* * *

Cassandra parked her car and then got out, heading over to her sister's house. She knocked on the door and opened the door when she was ordered too. She walked into see Opie on the couch, smiling on her.

"I'm sorry, Ope."

He pulled her arm and made her sit next to him. He pulled her into him and hugged her. "It's alright. Y'all talk?"

She shook her head. "Not really. Mostly cried."

Opie looked down at her and kissed her on the head. This girl and the biker were his best friends and he hated them so broken. Her admitting that they cried was big, and he knew not to tell his wife. She looked up at him and smiled. "How bad was he really when I left?"

Opie looked at her and sighed. "Fucked, babe. Pussy and booze were his family and none of us could pull him out if it. Still haven't really, not till two weeks ago."

He saw her puzzled look and smiled. "Ya came back, Sassy. I saw the looks since you got back. He cares, a lot. The past two weeks, he just existed. Only took crow if he was drunk and never Ima, the girl who confronted you."

She nodded, "I didn't know what to say to him, Ope. That whore just brought back too much, y'know."

He hugged her back to him. "You should tell him that. Don and I don't know everything that happened between ya two. I don't know how to help you, Cassandra."

She leaned against him for a sec before getting up and going to find her sister, most likely in the kitchen.

"I know, Opie. Maybe one day."

Opie watched and sighed. He really hoped his friends figured out how much they meant to each other before they broke each other too much and it couldn't be fixed anymore.

* * *

Jax rode and parked in his drive to see a car in front of his house. He sighed as he dismounted and watched as the blonde stood up from his porch. He unstrapped his helmet and set it in its place before walking over. "Something wrong with the car?"

She just nodded and came up close to him. "Just wanted to make sure you were alright."

He rolled his eyes and stepped back from her. "You should go. Girls don't get in my bed here and I wouldn't put you in it anyway."

"Is the hair isn't it?"

"What does that mean?"

She smirked at him. "It's not red."

He than turned and watched as she walked back to her car and drive away.

He sat on the porch and thought about what she said. He never had a preference before, a type so to speak. He took whatever let him, not really being picky about where he put his dick. Maybe that was the problem. If he was picky, maybe that's where he went wrong. If he hadn't let Tig bust his balls and talk him into taking the girl that just left to his bed...no, he had to stop thinking about the past. The red head was home and here, within reach. He just had to figure out how to keep his hands on it. They were both so damn broken and he didn't know how to fix her when he couldn't fix himself. He looked up as he saw Opie's bike pull up next to his. He took out a smoke and stayed seated as his friend got off the bike. Opie motioned for a seat and Jax scooted over to let him sit. They stayed quiet, Opie taking out a cigarette for himself. Jax threw the snipe down when he was finished with it and sighed. "Out with it, Opie."

Neither one turned to look at the other, Opie just took a drag. "She asked how bad you were when she took off."

Jax turned to look at him. "What did you say?"

"Told her the truth, Jax. She needed to know. You both need to talk about what her leaving did to y'all."

Jax ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "She told me what it did to her. She told me what she went to the clubhouse that night for. It's all on me, brother. I made her leave."

Opie nodded, "I agree. I know the guys and I didn't help though. We were hounding you about the croweaters, Jax. If I had known, I would have gotten them to leave you alone

The blonde shook his head. "Don't. I took Ima back to my room, made her scream my name and Sass heard it. I knew what I was doing, Ope. Looking back on it, I saw her there. I can't tell her that and if you hit me, I'd get it. I saw her as Ima led me down the hall way and didn't stop it. Didn't even realize what I really did till we were finished. I did it, not you, not Tig, not anyone...me."

Jax saw the anger in his friend's face and knew if he hit him, Jax would let him. Opie was seething at the new information his friend just gave him. He knew their friend didn't think Jax saw her that night, and this could be the last straw. "You need to tell her before Ima does. If you saw her, you know the bitch did. Enough to confront about not having a crow. That's what the argument was about at the clubhouse weeks ago."

Opie watched Jax's resolve hit him and he rose up, heading to his bike.

"She's at the house with Donna." Opie called out as his friend backed up out of the drive.

* * *

Cassandra was playing with Ellie while Donna was making dinner, neither knowing where Opie went when he took off on his bike. She thought she knew though. She told him they had cried and so he was going to make sure Jax was alright. "Hey, you staying?" She heard from the kitchen.

"Yeah, I guess." She called back turning to see her sister coming into the living room.

Donna sat next to her on the couch, knowing her sister just needed time. She knew where husband went. Jax had only really talked to two people his whole life, especially after JT died and one of them was holding Ellie. She was really hoping both her sister and her friend could figure everything out before it was too late. She also knew that the secrets would catch up to them and if they found them out some other way, it would destroy what was left of the friendship. She heard a knock and got up to answer the door. She paused, looking at the biker on the other side. She put her head through to look past him and didn't notice her husband behind him. She looked back up at him to see the broken man she had for the last few weeks and pulled back. "Sassy, he wants you."

Cassandra looked at her sister, who just took Ellie, going into the kitchen to feed her. Cassandra got up and went to the open door to see the blonde biker looking at her. She came out and shut the door, sitting down on one of the chairs. Jax sat on the concrete and looked out to the street, taking out a cigarette. She waited on him, not knowing why he was there. He took a long pull of the smoke before looking back up at her.

"I saw you, that night."

She looked at him and could feel the tears, falling freely. He had seen her and he still took the croweater back to his room, still did those things. He watched her face, becoming more broken the longer they sat there. He made to get up, not knowing what else to say, stopping when he felt her hand in his. He looked down at their hands and then to the woman now behind him. She kept her eyes on his and whispered, "Why did you than?"

He knelt down and stood on his knees, becoming eye level with her. "I don't fucking know. I have thought about it for the last decade, Sass. I saw you as I turned the corner at JT's bike and just kept going."

She closed her eyes to calm a bit. "You really hurt me, Jackson. I had never felt anything like I did that night. I could feel my heart shatter as I heard her."

"I know, Cassandra. I can't take it back, no matter how much I want to. I lost my heart that night and don't think I've ever gotten it back. When I saw the note on your front door, I fell and knew you left because of me. I was so lost, blind, didn't know what to do."

She nodded and sighed. "We can't just pick up, Jax. Not after finding this out. I'm glad you told me. I would have hated you if she did first."

Jax sighed, willing no more tears to fall. "I know. I just needed you to know. I told Opie tonight too, I'm surprised he didn't hit me."

That got a chuckle out of her and she smiled. "Me to, actually. He's always been protective of me. I should go."

She didn't wait for him to agree before walking back into the house to see if Donna needed anything.

Jax sat for a minute to get his bearings before riding home. He took a breath and let it out, heading to his bike. He told her what he needed too and now, it was up to her as too what kind of relationship she wanted. He mounted his bike and pulled out, passing Opie on his way home.

_**And another for today. Thank you to kceeluv, Legolas' Girl31, mcbailey, awprncss4386, Cappiesgirl23, and the guest, HermioneandMarcus, yotoots, prisonbreakfan26. Also thanks to everyone who is following and marking this as a favorite. Hope you all continue to leave me notes on your thoughts. Till next time :)Brianna**_


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